Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Caring for My Wife Through her Battle with Cancer


Published with permission from (and by) Cameron Von St. James

I will always remember November 21, 2005. This is the day that we found out that my wife had cancer. It was at that very moment that I knew that I was going to be her caregiver. There was no possible way that I could have prepared myself for thischallenge. We had one child who was only three months old when we found out about the cancer, a little girl named Lily. We were just getting ready to celebrate our first Christmas with Lily when everything fell apart.

The day that we found out about Heather's mesothelioma, the doctor gave me plenty of instructions before we left his office. He told us how important it was to seek treatment from a specialist. He also gave us a list of three hospitals that would be good for treating mesothelioma. Two of the hospitals where local and the third one was located in Boston. We knew right away that the doctor in Boston was the one that we wanted to go to.  His name was Dr. Sugarbaker and he was renowned for his experience in treating mesothelioma. This was only the beginning of many more impossible decisions that I would have to help make with my wife.

For the next two months, everything was hectic. Heather had to quit her full-time job and I had to cut back my hours to part-time in order to care for her. I was so overwhelmed with traveling back and forth to Boston while trying to take care of Lily and Heather, and the strain of our new financial difficulties due to our decreased income and overwhelming new expenses only added to our stress and anxiety. On top of all this, in the back of my mind I constantly feared that my wife was going to die.  Mesothelioma is an extremely deadly cancer, and almost everyone diagnosed with this terrible disease does not survive for more than a few months to a year. More than once, I found myself breaking down crying under the pressure and fear.

Thankfully, we have been very blessed by people we are closest to, our friends and family, who came through the help in any way they could. They offered kind words and even money at times, which despite my initial hesitation to accept, took so much pressure off of us during this difficult time. If you find yourself in this situation, allow people to help you no matter what.  I learned the hard way that there is no room for pride in a battle with cancer.

Cancer is a very difficult situation for everyone involved.  Allow yourself to have bad days, they’re inevitable and sometimes necessary.  The important thing is to never, ever give up hope, and never stop fighting for the ones you love.


Now, seven years later, after months of grueling mesothelioma treatment, Heather has defied the odds and is cancer free. We are putting our lives back together, and could not be more thankful for the time we have together.  Now, our hope is that by sharing our story of success in the face of enormous odds, we can help inspire those currently battling cancer today to never give up.


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